Easter and my finding my spiritual job.

This week was my birthday

and with being the aries comes the imaculate timing of feeling refreshed and reflective while nature herself springs to life again. So as I start to shake away the gloom of a wary winter of sorrow and stigma of survival instead of thriving I was thwarting. After a big year of upheaval and healing and challenging myself in love and nature and physical endurance and literally crash landing in my home town to rehash and revive the well worn ways of Denver comforts and limitations. My age old Denver question yeah it's a great town but how do I get paid to live here and don't I want to play with big kids? My ambitions to be a coastal girl, I could get paid to do what I love. It's that simple. Or is it? In my birthday week I was unable to do my job or so I thought because my car broke down, and I had a mad men party that only my closest friends attended it was fun and intimate, I went dancing and was on the floor as they played classic hip hop, it was mostly white boys singing along and bouncing around trying to grind on the ladies it was a drunken bumble but it was happy enough. Brunch was on a patio overlooking the mountains and that felt more church like than any sermon I would have sat through to remind myself of rebirth. I watched the Passion of the Christ

and finally felt some connection to the story of Jesus, I have always appreciated his message of love and compassion, but to see him endure suffering at the demand of the public and the connection that a mother and child has gave me a sense of humbling to what my life's work is and should be about and why I am always at odds with what I am going to do with my day, and how do I wish to be rewarded for my actions and talents and if I even seek out to best use them. Does anyone? Is this what would heal the world? Nourishing my spiritual worker seems more and more a priority but in truth it has always been hungry, and never was satisfied by the usual fare. So back to the drawing board I go determined to keep carving at the things that bring me peace of mind and know that they will find a way to a peace with my wallet.