The revival of the spirit is a fundamental process, on this weekend was littered with casual moments of spectacular awakenings as in summer the yearning to savor time and slow things down with the influx of priority to relax and enjoy and have fun crashed the gate of this years anguish by my releasing the old concepts of love and be open to blueprinting healthy interactions and real love in my life.
I also went downtown to where I noticed an awkward mash up of Juneteenth, Pridefest, Comicon, and a Scientology Temple opening OH MY! Some how I found peace among the summer salad of peoples all coated in dressings, I even managed to sneak a double feature of Snow White and Rock Of Ages which was the screen version of the events unfolding outside. That night I took my mother to a faith healer and though I found myself uncomfortable and weary of all the Jesus talk, I reminded myself that I have been to Master Sha, and Matrix Energetics and now I am wheeling my mother up as she herself a deep believer and she herself has plenty of excuses why she can't be healed. She couldn't even tell the woman what she wanted (a new spine and ankle)
really she needed a new attitude. I got a let's hang out from someone I had given up on just as I was in the midst of the revival- is it a sign? nah he is still the same old non-participating dude, but I did get a glimpse of active change. I went to pridefest the next day and did my thing of inspiring random strangers and giving them the boost they want to hear, would they change do they ever? Does it matter to have a stranger appear like a figment of your imagination and say be braver because you are beautiful, nowhere is this more appreciated than at pridefest. This week I started school that was teaching me to work with lasers it was an amazing sense of progress as I had a determined path, to feel like I had a goal and that I was finding a path towards freedom financially and hence emotionally was almost transcending and then came around of the big wall- the wall of have not. Most of my life has been a scotch tape job of being creative, and finding sustained opportunities to rise into stability and security, this week my cravings to become that independent girl was cracked again, I am reminded that it is just another moment to do what you can and not panic, but there may be a cupcake involved.
SO here is the humble bumble:
I'm shocked when it doesn't work out, it seems so obvious that things should come together better for my friends and family, that I am so broken when the sharp pangs of stupidity bleed on my plans to make an awesome life. but it is not over just post poned till when things might work again? nahhhhhh, that's BS there is no rest each moment is new and all the swimming fails I occasionally drown in well I somehow end up on a serene shore of hope. Well at least it's reliable.
I also went downtown to where I noticed an awkward mash up of Juneteenth, Pridefest, Comicon, and a Scientology Temple opening OH MY! Some how I found peace among the summer salad of peoples all coated in dressings, I even managed to sneak a double feature of Snow White and Rock Of Ages which was the screen version of the events unfolding outside. That night I took my mother to a faith healer and though I found myself uncomfortable and weary of all the Jesus talk, I reminded myself that I have been to Master Sha, and Matrix Energetics and now I am wheeling my mother up as she herself a deep believer and she herself has plenty of excuses why she can't be healed. She couldn't even tell the woman what she wanted (a new spine and ankle) 
really she needed a new attitude. I got a let's hang out from someone I had given up on just as I was in the midst of the revival- is it a sign? nah he is still the same old non-participating dude, but I did get a glimpse of active change. I went to pridefest the next day and did my thing of inspiring random strangers and giving them the boost they want to hear, would they change do they ever? Does it matter to have a stranger appear like a figment of your imagination and say be braver because you are beautiful, nowhere is this more appreciated than at pridefest. This week I started school that was teaching me to work with lasers it was an amazing sense of progress as I had a determined path, to feel like I had a goal and that I was finding a path towards freedom financially and hence emotionally was almost transcending and then came around of the big wall- the wall of have not. Most of my life has been a scotch tape job of being creative, and finding sustained opportunities to rise into stability and security, this week my cravings to become that independent girl was cracked again, I am reminded that it is just another moment to do what you can and not panic, but there may be a cupcake involved. 
SO here is the humble bumble:
I'm shocked when it doesn't work out, it seems so obvious that things should come together better for my friends and family, that I am so broken when the sharp pangs of stupidity bleed on my plans to make an awesome life. but it is not over just post poned till when things might work again? nahhhhhh, that's BS there is no rest each moment is new and all the swimming fails I occasionally drown in well I somehow end up on a serene shore of hope. Well at least it's reliable.
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