That's right internet, as promised I have created an evolution to wait for it ourcluturalrehab.com !!!!!But don't you worry this will always be here in the level of permanence that anyone can offer. I did import the blog. so it is over there as well. What are the new features you ask? Well if you scroll down you will see a post about my app and the sadness of being shunned and labeled pornographic by Google Play for creating my Very Spicy Dice app. And after I licked my wounds decided to create a web app that is bigger and better and has an entire new Tantra dice! So I am independent of the middle class morality of corporate America and free to deliver adult content to the WORLD! Thanks Google.  So you can go to the site and the store and for 1.00 USD Enjoy fun sexy times. You Are Welcome. But why Our Cultural Rehab? because it is time to stop making this experience about me! This is about creating community and being involved and so there will be a guest blogger section. And well, there is more space and tools to create events and conversations about how to get better at the world we all want to live in. I'm super excited for this next adventure and I hope you will be there to enjoy it with me.
Clearly Confidently Fantastically Yours,
Crystal

Win - Win. Diary of a Champion of Failure

Today was like one of those fly dreams- every range of emotional accountability has flushed my cheeks to blush raw crimson. The volcano of yes is churning down my zen mountain and my ferocious desires for maybe having it all is in my grasps has exposed the deeper canyons of old battle scars. I played a game that had two teams and in knowing that there was a selected team captain my inner dialogue immediately wanted to take our team the gold, but I paused and was concerned that I had been usurping the power of my spectacle and I wanted others to have the opportunity to lead, harkening back to being given a bit part in the school play not because I wouldn't have made a great lead, " because I didn't need to build my confidence" and so it went to the shy girl and she was great. So I sat back and steered from behind but instead of honing a singular vision I went into auto pilot and though I sensed we were missing the bigger point and that all eyes were on me I reassured that winning was evident and these were the rules and I calmed everyone by cracking jokes to ease the tension of my team - We won SPARTANS foreva! My gut of course was right and we were missing the point and all those moments when I know I'm not seeing the whole picture until after  start skipping on the record. How deep is this program- that I shut out my sense to lead - that I stop when I don't feel right that I always play the game. I see things through, I steady the course. And I am exhausted of jumping trains.
Tonight I am left wondering what I have gained by my cool exterior. That others look to me even if I'm not invested. I am exposed as being no closer to shedding my cultural isms and at every opportunity I shrink from the full scale evolution I have promised myself. Today I released resentments for my family matters but that did not reach to the bottom of the ravine of my soul the dark edge of self destruct that shadows my starshine. These failures are my mantra to revive my connection to purpose to hold the candle for my light and the generosity of spirit that would work in collaboration with the whole team that is 2 halves. The win - win is walking in your shoes and so I am announcing that I am moving this blog in 60 days to ourculturalrehab.com where I will revive my Very Spicy Dice to a web app and circumvent the prejudice of Google and Apple for their pious reasoning and I will develop ways to make this a conversation again rather than rants. I have grown careless in my rebuild and though I am proud to have pieced my life back together from the accident it is now time to reinvest in my passions they are my ribbons though time and though my confusion and disappointment at my utter obvious revert to a survival mind is clear, it also the light to guide my way out of my cave. I am a woman that risks, and I am all in again.  I am too much... but that is because I assume you want so little. I will not enable your exclusion from my heart anymore.

Influence a Tribute to the Winning Party and Celebrating Independence

  

OK it has been awhile....... however,  I have still been blistering under my sunny skies of a good job, a cool car, great hair, awesome friends and glittering adventures. So.... hooray! My life does not suck and I have triumphed from under the mountain of sadness caused by getting blown off course by health and car accidents. High Five. This post is about being a winner and being grateful for what this country offers.
      That being said ....... Thanks Google for providing this forum and all the access to images and resources that has truly made cultural rehab possible. Yet I am deeply disappointing that Google has also decided to play moral authority with their power of access. It seems that freedom of speech in this country only goes as far as guns and religion, because they have elected to remove my app Very Spicy Dice from the Google play store, citing that the content was expressly forbidden. Here is the email in it's entirety:  

This is a notification that your application, Very Spicy Dice, with package ID com.crystalclearcommunications.veryspicydice, has been removed from the Google Play Store.
REASON FOR REMOVAL: Violation of the sexually explicit material provision of the Content Policy:

• Apps that contain or promote pornography are prohibited; this includes sexually-explicit or erotic content, icons, titles, or descriptions.

Please refer to the Sex and Nudity policy help article for more information.
All violations are tracked. Serious or repeated violations of any nature will result in the termination of your developer account, and investigation and possible termination of related Google accounts. If your account is terminated, payments will cease and Google may recover the proceeds of any past sales and/or the cost of any associated fees (such as chargebacks and transaction fees) from you. If your developer account is still in good standing, you may revise and upload a policy compliant version of your application as a new package name. Before uploading any new applications, please review the Developer Distribution Agreement and Content Policy.
The Google Play Team


Well you are the winners Google. You are the most powerful source of information in the known history of mankind and have absolute discretion on exactly what is good or bad for us foolish sinful citizens.  I have no recourse, though you profit from pornography every minute of every day, and my little app has no images and expressly requires you to be 18 and older only; my humble attempt to liberate and entertain couples to become sexually empowered and spontaneous was clearly an affront to the corporate theocracy we are now subjects to in 'Merica. Le sigh.

I am pained at the puritanical and relentless vilification of sexuality, especially in light of how it's cousin Violence seems to be so cherished and pampered. Oddly violence is a constituional right! Sexuality on the other hand,  even though it is the very foundation of existence, and is pleasurable by design has no rights or is discussed (mainly because women had no rights at the time), and even though the1st commandment  is Thou shall not kill,  we find room for justification and celebration of our rights to be violent, and never to be a healthy sexual being.

My friend Monika had a fun tidbit about the confusing love hate relationship with sexuality that 'Merica has :

Can you guess which state consumes the most porn? UTAH!!! What happens when you suppress sexuality? Hmm.

Those states that consume the most porn tend to be more conservative and religious than states with lower levels of consumption, the study  finds. "Some of the people who are most outraged turn out to be consumers of the very things they claimed to be outraged by," Edelman says.

Guess which state tops the list? Utah! "The biggest consumer, Utah, averaged 5.47 adult content subscriptions per 1000 home broadband users."

Here's the bottom-line fun fact you can pull out as this debate heats up: "Eight of the top 10 pornography consuming states gave their electoral votes to John McCain in last year's presidential election – Florida and Hawaii were the exceptions. While six out of the lowest 10 favoured Barack Obama."

My theory is that the GOP has trouble accepting and coping with their natural urges and instincts and feel the need to pass laws to prohibit it. It matches with their authoritarian mindset. They can't trust themselves -- or others -- to make the right moral choices in accordance with their beliefs so they feel the need to legislate against it.

Currently on Google Play the recommended June game is called Boom Beach it features a very large Rambo looking guy with a bazooka screaming on a beach for your consideration :

Blowing up a beach to squash Evil Bosses not really your thing;  take a look at some of these winning titles to entertain you. :

Hmmmmm so Google you think that killing is fine, entertaining and perfectly acceptable. Exploring sexuality is worthy of removal from innocent corruptible minds? Hmmmmmmm if only there were a case study about how well repressing sexuality works to teach males about how entertaining violence is and should be substituted for healthy sexual activity, oh wait there is 

(note I am posting this video because this is proof positive at how debased and deranged sexual repression is. I think that if men and women start addressing their desires independent of the manipulations, guilt, shaming, and the plethora of other societal boundaries that we have created for ourselves that the power struggles might ease the global atrocities of cruelty we have surrendered too. My condolences for the families of the victims of senseless crimes everywhere. Also this video is available via You Tube a product of Google and I was able to view it after getting a warning that the material is offensive, but I am in fact able to view it, cuz you know I'm an adult. )

So is there a connection between repressive sexuality / isolation / and violence being so readily accessible and promoted? A little snipit about assumptions:

Mass murderers snap and kill randomly - Mass murderers typically plan their assaults days, weeks, or months in advance. Their motives are most typically revenge, power, loyalty, terror, and profit.

Mass shootings are on the rise - According to FBI data, over the past few decades there has been an average of 20 mass shootings a year in the U.S.

Violent entertainment, especially video games are causally linked to mass murder - Scientists have not found a causal link between video games and mass murder; violent video gaming may be a symptom and not a cause of the incidents.

There are telltale signs that can help us to identify mass murderers before they act - Murderers tend to be male Caucasians with psychological issues, but these characteristics apply to a very large portion of the population.

Widening the availability of mental-health services will allow unstable individuals to get the treatment they need and decrease mass murders- Increasing mental health facilities may not reach those on the fringe who would turn to murder as many see the blame residing in others, not themselves.

Enhanced background checks will keep dangerous weapons out of the hands of murderers - A recent examination of 93 mass shootings from 2009 through September 2013, conducted by Mayors Against Illegal Guns (2013), found no indication that any of the assailants were prohibited by federal law from possessing firearms because of mental illness.

Having armed guards at schools will protect students from active shooters - 28% of public schools already employ armed security personal regularly; there is no way for armed guards to sufficiently protect every single one of their students in an event of a mass shooting.

Note this says that games are the symptom not the cause.  I think it's relative, if the cause is sexual isolation and the therapy is a violent video game than the release would be violent instead of sexual.  But would that be fueling an even crazier rapist sexist coulture? Honestly I believe that when you are not shamed and guilty about your desires they would no longer erupt in ways that are cruel abusive and power driven. Being comfortable in your skin makes for a profound shift in your approach  to experiencing your life.

But this is about winning, so kudos to Facebook for freeing the nipple and letting pictures of breastfeeding mothers show their pictures with friends and family because there is nothing shameful about it (period) .


Let me see what else was a win recently oh yes Hobby Lobby. Forget that it is beyond crazy an IUD would be considered abortive form of birth control; since it allows women to have a non hormonal reliable protection and is recommended for women that are in monogamous relationships and that have already had children. Why does a corporation now have a right to religious beliefs over theor employees right to healthcare? My concern is truly what this does in opening up the connection between right to religion for corporations and the dismissal of individual rights of citizens. Was this not the country of religious freedom and separation of church and state? If so then:

 Yes I am livid, am I effected directly, no. I will never shop hobby lobby, Eden foods, chic fillet, papa johns, jimmy johns, rockstar and many others, as that is my right and I certainly would never work for a company that had a culture I don't agree with. But this discrimination and repressing women in receiving health care, which I might add is exactly how humanity exists... by having healthy women that are prepared to have children in a safe and nurturing environment.  (Isn't that what Jesus would have wanted?)

I am none to pleased at  the other SCOTUS decision this week which has gotten no coverage   Anti Union laws that bite directly at the Democratic Party Campaign Contributions By design perhaps? Get the women mad about once again limiting her choices and that will keep the heat off the real story?????/ To Be Continued......    Anyway: This is everything

 FYI John Oliver is winning! He is required viewing.  OK that is done and my livid levels are stabilizing. One thought and respite in this sea of Bull Shit is that perhaps it will get those moderate single ladies, and women in general out to vote this year and start to participate in the fundamentally rigged system. Ladies our participation is mandatory. I am infinitely grateful that I don't live in a country where stoning, servitude, or acid is a regular recourse for disgruntled men. 

That was heavy so do enjoy some bouncy boobies:


And lets just add this in because helping women feel confident with a catchy beat is always winning.

need a little more how about this : 

ok so now that you are
buttered up here comes the sucker punch:

This is a compelling and vital full film of the tragic and inspiring story of Aaron Swartz and his battle for information freedom and citizen rights , the co creator of creative commons and reddit has a very important story that will force your hand in asking what do you do to live your beliefs. 

thoughts:

Holding Space for the Miracle, POST Valentine's Day

So everyone has a list. A list of things that are wrong that feels overwhelming and leads to the inertia of what can I do about it: Keystone pipeline, Kiev is burning and Venezuela is going offline, Olympics are sponsored by McDonald's?         Cable Mergers I pay 6.4 percent interest on my student loans with virtually no forgiveness, but corporate loans pay less than one percent and can file bankruptcy shielding any accountability to consumers, not to mention a prisoner costs 40+K a year, and a lifetime of loan money for a student is 38K. Drone programs,

       
, Teabagger politicking effectively squashing the rights and freedoms of women, gays, and various shades of browns, under the banner of Christian morality? Greed is Good for what exactly? But protesting with ironic signs, or pledging online seems meager at best, but no real My friend posted on FB, "don't go to Burning man this year- stop partying the world needs you-" and I have been haunted ever since.

Last night I watched 2 films, Blue Jasmine the Woody Allen film (my last, I weary to support a man so clearly at odds with women), but this latest tale shows another shrieking crazed harpies on the verge of a nervous breakdown when her high society life is shredded when her husband a Bernie maddof replica is exposed. She is forced to endure life in the cuts, and while it plays to every girl deepest Cinderella fantasy of being plucked pampered and spoiled by the perfect smart rich good looking man that loves you and gives you everything and the ominous cloud of cheating scandal and being left with nothing and no skills or means tossed out with nothing but your last years Chanel coat and a skill set un-sellable. It made me think of all the money donated to charities stolen from the rich and funneled to the poor, the party for the cause. Could Burning man develop deeper programs to justify this massive party in the desert. A TedxBurningMan, a guideline of 40 hours of service time bank discount for community action projects, or sustainable practice camps that win better locations. A pavilion of non-profits that gets voted on and wins a burning man grant. Why is the best party in the world not offering organized or intentional contributions back to the community of man- The man burns every year and there is no offering to "rebuild" him. And speaking of misguided energies this whole SF private bus debacle is a shambles of allegiances. The irony of the artsy crowd of the last ten years being offended that the tech crowd have private transportation - the culture of SF is being squandered, protests and eggs literally being thrown at employees on their way to work, really? Sure these tech guys are well if not over paid (19 billion for a texting app?) But this IS SF  the very essence of a boom town even in the 1800s it was expensive to live there and it was fraught with heart ache and fortunes were made and lost.

Fundamentally we are hating the players  not the game. When I moved to the mission it was awkwardly finding the confidence to charge more even though there were still plenty of dirty needles and piss pools, and bundled Latins hustling down market, but with the proximity to the bart, the notable extra sunshine, plenty of bars and cheap taquerias it was quickly becoming the destination inevitably more desirable, so now there are better stores, more restaurants and whole lot less crack deals- Yes SF is in a class war - but is there not some gray in there? Can there not be a way to openly sustain the eclectic artist community with the thriving tech industry as the oil barons did for Cartier and Faberge'? Millennials have proven they are not looking to insulate by moving to McMansions in the burbs like rappers or sports stars appear to do (do they?) Of course it may be because teckies are more likely from the burbs and want more culture now that they are on their own, so what might actually address the actual housing crisis? This.  And while we are still rummaging around on Community and calls to action in Brazil they are testing a cultural grant where they give the poor 20 bucks a month mad money to spend on books, movies what have you to make their lives a little better than work/  home. Heaven knows everyone does better with a 3rd place.

Movie 2 was Don Jon a slippery underdog film that was provocative entertaining and enlightening. When I first started dating my eventual live in boyfriend I was never against porn, my mom had playboys in the house as models (she was a painter) anyway I never thought of it as filthy but merely a quick fix. fast forward to an internet  that you can easily watch videos on and bam! an entire new beast of addiction has emerged. All of my guy friends talk about porn, and my boyfriend well yes he watched it, alot, daily. At first I took it personally, that he wasn't attracted to me as some fake coked up strippers with their orange asses and plastic tits honestly I still don't fully understand the relentless pursuit of porn if you have a good sex life but this movie was both funny and insightful to how the male mind navigates this addiction. It leaves me wondering though about my rules I got over it, kinda enjoyed it, but it wasn't a deal breaker - maybe I should have asked for more from him - to be more present - I wonder if I lack self respect because I am not interested in wrapping a man around my finger _ I guess I turned out to be more Julianne Moore that Scarlett Johanson anyway sex is precious because vulnerability is precious and there are few moments that demand authenticity like an orgasm and fewer moments that are corrupted better by our culture than around sex with partner or with that perfect easy screen whether it's selling lust or love.
Rounding out this post is the essence of I saw 2 strange currencies of environmental awakenings that were the actual inspiration of this post 1. A Fresh Water reserve has been discovered as an effective do over shhh don't tell Nestle. 2. An ancient 298 million year old forest was discovered beneath a coal mine in China!shhhhhh don't tell China!  
and then there is this Ronan Farrow is kinda my grown up cougar crush. Sorry Ryan Gosling

The Daily Show
Get More: Daily Show Full Episodes,The Daily Show on Facebook

And this is my mobile device fantasy.

PS Visual Indulgences:

And if you need some work to go deeper in your woo This book is some kinda extra clarity  . Learning about the North Node is revolutionary. So Be Present and your grind on. Also this is my Anthem : Preach!

The Eagle has landed! Sex Positive Culture and Very Spicy Dice is now!

I have birthed my 1st APP into the world! Very Spicy Dice is now available on Google Play - just in time for the Love Quake that is Valentine's Day arguably the most pressured filled stew pot of love confusion and aching - this celebration of romance is my favorite challenge as it forces me to take stock of the love I give and the love I receive for friends and lovers and family. How good is my communication about love - I have never been shy about my comfort with my curiosity about love and I have always loved to explore playful, and push my power and understand the thrills and spills of being a passionate woman. One of my favorite fun games was sexy dice, introduced to me in a back alley when I was a mere scamp they have always represented the importance of spontaneity and over coming inhibitions. And so I have made the ultimate Sexy Dice un beholden to 6 sides and included are a locations option and 50 shades spicier which features more advanced play options that you might have read about in that book that every woman read. I hope you enjoy the game and play it frequently! I believe that the keys to changing this paradigm is by exploring our sense of sexuality becoming comfortable with who we are and developing the knowledge of what we need. It is our ahh state.
This is everything - I am loving the New Beyonce Album  - A sexy honest anthem of life when you have it all- And that's why you win at the Grammy's instead of get trashed at the VMAs.  So find the the inner smile and know that you can do what you please!





also I find this super cute girl refreshingly helpful so check her out:



And while we are at it let's get a few more stats in there! 

The Vessel celebrations in the eye of the storm.

It has been a recurring theme in my conversations that science and spirituality are much closer than we are comfortable with. In fact I am sure that science is the ever evolving map of spirituality because it is setting out to understand the rules of the universe the tender life code that pulses through our networks of bliss and frustrations. Breathes life into our zeitgeist of this flicker of civilization- it is a galaxy of slippery shimmering knowledge that looms in the distance reflecting in our curiosity and diligence. In 2014 I have made resolves to drink more water and sit quietly reading with more tea. To learn the choreography of a Beyonce video, to bring my app to market and to open my heart enough to forgive what has been inside no matter how dark or disappointing.

It seems I am not the 1st to map a women's heart and truth be told that must be one of my many new projects on the table - what does my heart map look like? I have been getting my woo on in search of the vital act of clarification by syncing with the new moon - also I was given this little gift :




An inspiring lecture I would recommend the entire series..... also the balance for me is that it is important to find a space in not just assuring that my path is being heard but that I put some place for the healing of the world and I found this one that has a nice tone......   I went to a lecture on how to get what you really want, and I thought I would share some of my notes... also some facts about what successful people do that unsuccessful people don't. What do you really want?

Who do you need to be to have those things happen ?

Strength virtue character

What moves you.

Integrity meaning

Your truth is not always true
What is my limiting belief
Creating circumstances

I'm too much / broke

I'm not healthy enough

Because I'm not disciplined I won't be successful


I'm really happy and I've got tons of money

I'm the healthiest I've ever been

I am the get er done girl. I'm focused and

Write your action step for the day

The harder I work the luckier I get.

Wake up earlier
Journal entries
Write down short and long term goals
Daily to do list
Include your new habits
Review your day celebrate your wins identify your losses

I love the benefits of reading and exercising
connect with your networks - just for fun 
listen to audio books, journal, be honest about your time and it's value- KEEP STRETCHING!

OK that was a lot of woo - But it is a new year and that is hope: and ultimately that is the stock and trade of humanity.

The December Issue and my 150th post Big Beautiful and Full of WONDER

Within my magical pink castle studio I have been lounging all weekend! My fair weather friend policy kicks in at less than 10 degrees and since it has been coasting around 1degree I have sought out the luxury of "me time". Thankfully I have salmon bites with spicy tomato soup, amazing guac and black mole chicken sandwiches, ripe pears and raspberries and some emergency lobster tail should I be inclined and more tea than any English house could offer. I have been having an indoor picnic! You should try it! I have Hulu and Netflix and a very interesting book on Druid sex magic and Mayan Myths, so Don't cry for me Argentina, and in fact that is the point, while my finances are grim my spirit is sailing. I have 2 weeks left of school I am in love with programming and media and have been finding inspirations amidst the ruins of my romantic notions I have great friends and loving old lovers... so clearly there is something to celebrate. This blog is now 150 posts in so much in the style of a big grand inspirational issue I am taking my cue's from the Empress herself Diana Vreeland which in case you have not been steeped in her magic the Doc is on Netflix instant and is the ultimate dazzling ride through the 20th century. I have been deeply inspired by this article which simply states go get what you want because there is nothing else to do but sit on your rump. SO let's check in with what has come of 2013? Well I think there has been a lot of progress and the burden of quiet desperation seems to fragile to hold out come 2014 and beyond. Greed itself has gotten greedy and in an effort to scrooge every last cent, or shred of common good it has shut down a government and tantrumed itself into a corner that is by omission of even the Pope unChristian/Catholic. Also who does not love the new guy Team Francis! And about the role of media and entertainia in our lives, yes it feels really Hunger Games/Elysium in this bitch but that is a story that is even being told and given to the masses which is an important piece to the beginning of creating work that has beauty and meaning and substance. Mrs Vreeland thought outside the box she gave women roles that were fun and empowering and celebrated all forms of beauty and talent and personality and passion, and as I have often said that is exactly where we need to go thinking of our own adventures and dreaming of solutions to solve our problems and to enjoy the lives we are given because we make them either valuable or expendable. Paul Walker was a handsome b actor he was also a single dad and was a true philanthropist, I had no idea the work that he did for relief to victims of the tsunami and beyond, and Nelson Mandela to whom touched and inspired millions by embodying sacrifice and the relentless pursuit of equality My humble salute to the extraordinary souls that give when they could take, that speak in silence and that hold the light for the long road ahead. So why don't you: troll kickstarter and donate in your friends names? Makeup crazy fortunes and give them to friends at random this holiday party season. That great idea you had for a play... write it! have picnics on your floor. Procrastination is the ultimate demise of greatness and you have no more time savor the wine, watch SOMM, demand GM to make this car:

Or if you are in NYC have some tea and Biscuits to herald the Triumphant return of Downton Abbey And though the goldiebox debacle went viral for using a beastie boys track

This is 4th grade girls teaching kindergarten buddies to code. #HourofCode Add caption

 Also Trans Fat is on the way out !

Add there might be hope for our Bees after all 

Why Don't you make this kind of family tradition

Why Don't you make this kind of family tradition

Dream! It is a magical world and a sexy NutCracker of boys and girls is good for everybody

Because this could be nap time

The point is this is now happening:

SO this should be a result

Makin it a blockbuster night, Zen and the art of planned obsolecence and other tales of surving Mercury Retrograde

Another massive corporate disrupt has shuttered down to a footnote in history. The Big yellow and blue box store that offered so many little boxes of happiness, cheaper than the movies and the perfect date to end in your favor. What most strikes me was the marketing, how do you make it a blockbuster night, google it, and have a coke. The relentless significance of your time being defined by corporate America. My weekends have never been warrior so movie night has kinda been my repose from the city stomping I do, but the result is the same (Thank Heavens, it's time to unwind.) Entertainia has evolved though, and I had to disable my netflix account for awhile at least because I just kept marathoning my way through series, and my 2 hour night becomes a couple of weekends where I am completely imersed, and I became worried that my creative output was stuttering from all the options and all the self-inflicted catching up I had to do? Make it a netflix weekend I guess became culturally norm. I started having awful nightmares after I locked in to a junket of 3 seasons of Dexter's murderous rage vigilante. But as this streaming occurs I am reminded how mighty Blockbuster and Tower Records and Sears has been, but our taste changes and like it or not the planned novelty and eventually obsolescence of radios, and television, and taxis, all lead forever onward to more footnotes to history. Whatever I can claim to be a part of by way of entertainment and technology is but a ghost on a sandy beach. Like the Romans to the British, to Americans and back to the Chinese.... Can you take comfort in this wheel of death to anything that has a moment in the sun? I'm trying not freak out even when I lost my job for no real reason on the 1st day of Mercury Retrograde. I calmly skipped into all my social plans and even with no real solution I wobbled my way forward because there is a zen in my bones that has settled from a lifetime of calamity. Also I found the most stupendously well suited companion, in a fervor of bubbles sugar sex and magic that resulted in his rigorously avoiding me. Le Sigh- unfolding that shadow of do we not all want to be happy? Cuddle up on a wintry night to dinner and a movie? The simplified task of making your life beautiful in your work, your relationships, and in your food and your sex? Do we not all need comfort and support? Did I not fit that bill? Communicating gratitude in a sparkling moment flickering away. These are the Hunger Games I guess. Each comfort we take in each other and in our stories is a look away from solving any of the problems we face. One day WalMart will also be a footnote... Required Viewing : I made this for my mobile apps as I am awkwardly straddling the design of less with more for better. I get so sick of stuff though. My love / hate relationship with the everything of creation, the movies, the books, the clothes, the music, the toys, and yet my inner monk sits patiently by the river waiting for me to let go.

This is my new soothing zen force: not surprisingly I want one. Yeash. Trapped like a trap in a trap. On the another note Lily Allen has offered up an extraordinary quandary of making an anthem of a song with the most uninspired video that reinforces the very essence of what she is doggedly trying to expose? (My Kingdom for some authenticity) for your consideration: I myself might have highlighted who really does twerking at zumba class, or the girl working at Starbucks for tips when a stripper comes in and pays for her 5$ coffee in 1s. Or maybe something like this: or this: My life is a blur of parties and beautiful people and ideas and making the best, but I still curl up in my little shoebox and long for the something I can never keep.

Dizzy Monsters : the inevitable evolution

This post has been haunting me. Like a spider in the corner, the tension in the air but I am adrift to harness my fears and instead claim a rational template to focus a forseable future. I pause in cocoon long enough to realize that this steel trap is not my resting post and that it is time to shatter my silence. Thank You to the mysterious Law of time thirteen moon calendar that appeared on my desk, or me finally having a night off. You see I have been cradled by the universe to shift my life into 3 projects -

programming, rehab, jazz. I have been wary of you internet as you are filled with the mind numbing facts that there is no logic in this place, and there has not been for possibly ever, I wonder why I am surprised that I expect a system to function how do I know of such things? I've been lighting candles with great success, for me personally but to what path do we go?

This government shutdown is such a farce a greed pride fueled epidemic of hysteria I am at a loss to the point of surrender and by that I mean to let them hang themselves my self preservation is no longer triggered - I call their bluff. I am at peace knowing that there is no return for them, that there greed will destroy them and many others and that implosion will be the basis for a redesign that will be in the hands of the youth that has seen the damage isolationism causes. It might get worse, oh well. It will get better at some point. Whatevs. Gravity pulls reality hence we will see some very dizzy monsters soon. I was reminded of this torch of sound. haunting and spot on.






The Catholic Church has only taken 2000 years to find a guy that practices what was preached: priests should marry,

atheiests are cool, gays who is he to judge? no designer duds. Holy Crap suddenly Catholicism has a little light and humanity to it. Team Francis!

My hope is that this will take a little venom out of the collective stew, leaving those that are hate filled to be exposed without the shelter of a GOD that judges. So does this mean the advancement of women finding roles that are not strictly saint or sinner? And men that will embrace that? I discovered this and it was a bit of a revelation on how the coming evolution of men are going to no longer look towards weapons, and gold bathtubs for peace of mind. I had a sad conversation with an artistic seemingly intelligent male but alas he seemed to be suffering from the idea that sex gets boring with the same partner, which is why he is a serial cheater and this spills into every other aspect of his life whether or not he admits it. Could it be that we are slaves to entertainment than to pleasure, sex is about pleasure and will never be satisfied or achieved if stopping short on the intellectual whimsy of a caked on cultureprobe steering tween you and your love. Sex is being! I shrugged, secretly relieved that I had dodged that bullet.
 I keep coming back to this idea of a dizzy monster, something terrible and vulnerable, a dangerous percipitation if ever there was one. But that might birth elegance out of nessecatiy, we have passed the edge of reason and are spinning with  arms out all blood and tears and sick the book of gravity looming over the tense spider.
Keep Pushing past the irrational fears, the tumbling worries, the calamaty of comforts.
When nothing seems to help I look at a stonecutter, hammering at his rock maybe a hundred times without even a crack to show, and the 101 will split it in 2, know that it was not the blow that did it but all the work that had gone before. And now for a little real cultural curiosity: The magnimarvelous Leslie Hall:

Vixens, Vamps, Vivas, and Vikings: the alter ego and celestial intervention

What a time of Make Manifest! While sifting through the remains of my slutosphere I have found that my drenched passions have aired and I am resolved to more engaging prospects, my plate for projects and the long view are reflecting in nearly every shiny surface available. This reflection has led to the contemplation in my roles I have played in my relationships and to myself, who I am to me. My evolution from viking (take what you want and burn the rest) to vamp (intentional mischief) to vixen (unapologetic sultry)to viva (zeitgeist extraordinaire)has been a burning rainbow of acceptance for my awkward sharp place in the world. Letting the playful goofball Betty rest in ageless sleep in a tower far from loving eyes. As most women easily navigate the demands of Betty, I relentlessly cultivate my veronica against my squeaky desires to embrace simplicity. I am amazed as I examine the open exchange of Betty's clamoring to be liked and accepted; I cringe as I overhear her batting eyelashes and exposed feelings. And yet I leak with hope that I to will have it all: love, respect, security. The embattled women over the ages as she finds any societal acceptance in her pursuit of happiness has been a footnote to history. This year in post Mayan Apocalypse though the wheels keep turning the direction seems to be changing and women most certainly must find their inner alter ego to offset the carbon footprint of their induced roles as sister, mother, wife, and explore her identity outside of the "relationship" but as an activist, a poet, an inventor, a philosopher, the shackles of the pursuit of beauty as the price of happiness is an illusion. This article sparked my imagination on the power of the term "witch". The tide of women's issues and the glowing possibility of a madam president is inspiring during this time of squeeze, but this pressure is a last ditch effort and will be the motivation for change. I watched the Pussy Riot film at the fundraiser for Titwrench festival Once again it is as masked avengers are we free to speak the truth, I wonder that if it were males would this have been the international scandal.... But it was women and they were exploring using sexuality as empowerment, anger as message, and anonymity as tool. A must see to prepare for what is to come on the ideological battlefield as the old man dies and we burn his throne. (Be nervous future King George the last one was not so popular). So part of the extremes of Vamps and Vixens is their sexual comfort, Mae West was smart, funny, beautiful and was not shy about her taste in men, and lifestyle she wrote and produced and starred and was the top earner in her day and she was relegated to caricature, why? What is the demand for a good girl? What is the makeup of a good girl anyway, by what standards have set or scale to? Is this what feeds rape culture?????? Is it fair that robin thicke and his band of merry married men can write a song about blurred lines that might be playful with his wife but when played at a club has a different context. The male fantasy is well established as healthy and wildly popular from the 100,000,000 views on you tube, but objectifying men is an awkward place where cougars go to fade into cat ladies. Nonetheless for your consideration:

 In other news on the insight and fixing of women's sexuality exhibit b :

 Perhaps it is this celestial fancy occurrence that is kicking up the dust:

for more click here This Is The Big One We've All Been Waiting For : The Grand Sextile Planetary Aspects and Tzolkin Correspondences for the Cosmic Moon 2013 Aloha Planetary Kin: this is your Cosmic skywatcher, Randy Bruner, Blue Cosmic Hand, coming to you from 19.5° on the Big Island of Hawaii. These are epic times in which we are living and this Cosmic Moon is no exception to that. The Maya were avid skywatchers. To them the axiom “As above, so below.” was how they lived their lives. They watched the dynamic of the planets moving across the sky and lived their life accordingly. As I write this we are in the central column of the Tzolkin in the Mirror Wavespell. It is the Summer Solstice day, Yellow Spectral Star, " I dissolve in order to beautify." I'm finding seemingly endless order of correspondences of the planetary aspects and the Tzolkin. I will attempt to condense them for transmission to you. This Cosmic Moon, the last of the 7 Mystic Moons, contains an awesome set of planetary movements and aspects, which correlate very closely to the Dreamspell version of the Tzolkin. The outer planets move very slowly and are already in position as the inner planets move into aspects with them. Just after Galactic Synchronization, on the 4th day of the Magnetic Moon, July 29, 2013, the planets will form an almost exact Grand Sextile. The Grand Sextile also includes two Grand Trines. These are all very positive and harmonious aspects completely surrounding the planet in a Sacred Geometric configuration. This is an awesome alignment of the planets in the solar system emcompassing the Earth in the geometry of a Stargate.

So I guess what I am saying is that the reboot is upon us, and I think it is gonna be amazing if we only show up for it  no (alter ego mask necessary).