Full Disclosure of a broken Dream

When I left SF I felt a rip tide that I could not explain, much as the mouring the loss of a lover and all the dreams that will never be, I felt like there was a golden age that I was apart of and there had always been a thread that had guided my purpose that had driven me to see and feel deeper. I was born under extreme circumstances and have often felt pressurized with my unique skill set that has seemed to take me to higher high and lower lows but always in the quest of the soul searching and accountabillity I felt for being here on Earth at this time. My mother had been told and her body was really not in condition to have another child so much later but her cleanse that she went on by way of Dr. Brown restored her body and though my father was in his 6os and had had a Vasectomy I had arrived healthy much to belief and guidance of Dr. Brown, who is known for his Atlantean Crystal discovery of the coast of Florida. My name is Crystal and I have experienced a profound sense of playful with what it might mean to be a living speaking and feeling Crystal. Why did I come in 1980 as an Aries Fire sign-

as a part of the Indigos, why was I born to Mercy hospital and had such a strong sense of myself from earliest memory. Why did I have as many protectors and people offer the assistance I needed to accomplish my visions and for me to be able to see them so clearly. Over the years I have felt my own disappointments and the tick of a karmic clock in my ear having deep intuitions about cosmic events and global shifts and in depth knowledge to the truths lurking in the closets of strangers, perhaps my temptations for fresh meat. I am a sleuth. On the hunt for some lost truth, and slowly drifting from proactive to reactive I have been deeply bothered by this wilting occurring but it is now that I face a freeing and a heart break for a purpose that I have held and a flame in my heart to find the Atlantean Crystal as a duty, has been dashed today there is a disturbance in the force and whether it is a good sign that we can not go home, that the Karma has been cleared or that a true and correct active piece of mystical has been lost to us during these sinister and logic based times, I do not know. But it was real, my feeling of needing to say goodbye the urgency of explaining if I was journeying alone if I wanted to stay or to go.... I feel alone and free but I weep for a something I can mot touch or explain, a dream to find my place to be apart of the gentle people some cosmic space party or some kind of activation here in the earthly plane there is nothing but forward now, as today I have learned that the crystal had been accidentally broken. I will say that I had felt that there was an urgency to me finding it and I thought we would unite for 12-12-12 but it is now a dream of gossamer clouds on a windy day. If this opens my heart so wide as now to fit a new dream of dreams a truer freedom a new expanse of power and light and love than so be it. Better we go to face the great unknown where as I thought I had a map, we are adventurers again. God Speed and be gentle.