Fighting for cause

This month is breast cancer awareness month. .And last week I was reintroduced into the power of women's code really is. The election season women's rights are back into question, note if you do not have ovaries, you simply can not be qualified to preside over them. Just sayin. Can you imagine a testicular panel of only women telling men what to do about their balls? Anyway, I spent an evening at a women's investment group mixer, named the 1820 club... why because it was the year of Susan B Anthony's birth( A reminder that it was not so long ago that women had no right to vote, own property, inherit, or wear pants) there was wine and cheese it was quite nice, and as suspected there was the question of why don't more women become Angel Investors rather that philanthropic endeavors, I wanted to say something awful which was because usually the investing is handled by the husband and the wife does the spending.  Hark it is terrible to think it, but it might be true, women would rather decorate or give it away before invest on the whole, and so today I watched pink ribbons inc now on netflix, and thought long and hard about the lack of accountability for where the money for research goes. And what of the all this pink stuff that is out there..... Is Lauder, Revlon, Ford really Diet Coke sponsors women heart health? Is this another form of patriot act? call it by the name that it is really attacking? well anyway, today I was reminded that the power of marketing to the mass mind of women is a battle that everyday I must fight or in reality where I don't feel like using such absurd terms like fighting, each day I must be mindful of the presence of desire for things and to create community and acceptance and to feel strong and healthy not by means of pressure but by the sheer force of joy in my heart. Lumps and all, I am here and tears are shed as I make my way, alone and with others, but I will take the time to find out who and why then ingest the obvious pink poison.

Full Disclosure of a broken Dream

When I left SF I felt a rip tide that I could not explain, much as the mouring the loss of a lover and all the dreams that will never be, I felt like there was a golden age that I was apart of and there had always been a thread that had guided my purpose that had driven me to see and feel deeper. I was born under extreme circumstances and have often felt pressurized with my unique skill set that has seemed to take me to higher high and lower lows but always in the quest of the soul searching and accountabillity I felt for being here on Earth at this time. My mother had been told and her body was really not in condition to have another child so much later but her cleanse that she went on by way of Dr. Brown restored her body and though my father was in his 6os and had had a Vasectomy I had arrived healthy much to belief and guidance of Dr. Brown, who is known for his Atlantean Crystal discovery of the coast of Florida. My name is Crystal and I have experienced a profound sense of playful with what it might mean to be a living speaking and feeling Crystal. Why did I come in 1980 as an Aries Fire sign-

as a part of the Indigos, why was I born to Mercy hospital and had such a strong sense of myself from earliest memory. Why did I have as many protectors and people offer the assistance I needed to accomplish my visions and for me to be able to see them so clearly. Over the years I have felt my own disappointments and the tick of a karmic clock in my ear having deep intuitions about cosmic events and global shifts and in depth knowledge to the truths lurking in the closets of strangers, perhaps my temptations for fresh meat. I am a sleuth. On the hunt for some lost truth, and slowly drifting from proactive to reactive I have been deeply bothered by this wilting occurring but it is now that I face a freeing and a heart break for a purpose that I have held and a flame in my heart to find the Atlantean Crystal as a duty, has been dashed today there is a disturbance in the force and whether it is a good sign that we can not go home, that the Karma has been cleared or that a true and correct active piece of mystical has been lost to us during these sinister and logic based times, I do not know. But it was real, my feeling of needing to say goodbye the urgency of explaining if I was journeying alone if I wanted to stay or to go.... I feel alone and free but I weep for a something I can mot touch or explain, a dream to find my place to be apart of the gentle people some cosmic space party or some kind of activation here in the earthly plane there is nothing but forward now, as today I have learned that the crystal had been accidentally broken. I will say that I had felt that there was an urgency to me finding it and I thought we would unite for 12-12-12 but it is now a dream of gossamer clouds on a windy day. If this opens my heart so wide as now to fit a new dream of dreams a truer freedom a new expanse of power and light and love than so be it. Better we go to face the great unknown where as I thought I had a map, we are adventurers again. God Speed and be gentle.