A light festival and the inner spark. (When to whirl your diverish)

Last night I was in a glorious little haven called Govinda's, it had a coi pond and was a krishna temple and they celebrated and danced and had marvelous food, some of which was totally not good for me and I was reminded why I am here to begin with. My journey in life has been to find the balance of extremes and I struggle regularly from having a very indulgent and wacky childhood, and yet it being very spiritual and now I find myself in a spiritual situations and feeling like I have come to a place of peace in my self but does that mean that I belong in community or that I am more comfortable as a beacon? I have lived as a monk for over 4 months now, and I find that as I am motivated to continue with my healing of all my wounds and share in the process with those of a similar path I am also amazed at how lack of consideration for the ordinary becomes so blaring in my ear. Today was another day after the Festival of light. The candles are blown out and the floor is swept and all things return but there was a moment where there was the blessing and we all held space for grace. And the divine maybe reaches out and touches you. Beyond your own frustrations and your falls there is just you and your daily practice...... do you eat well, do you take your body on a strea

ch, do you whistle while you work, do you smile like you mean it? Sure I sparkled at the festival of lights but I think that was the spark from with in and that is the eternal flame.