ticking........ time takes a peace pipe?

The shift is tampering and subtle and as these moons bloat with good will and gamma rays flood our DNA I sense my sequestered spirit and the limits of my own creation. I opt for adventure in my mind but it always fizzles to maintain and i shatter to the desires of the higher invisible road that occasionally I feel like gossamer kisses from ghost ships in the middle of the night. I want my life to be more special than it is or that it is allowing for. This is completely my own fault, I attest. But still dear universal intention give me the courage to be a captain again. Even these words send oxygen to my blood. My deep dream is to be of significance to witness the cosmic dance at the pyramids for The Great Convergence. I have applied for a scholarship and pray I find myself with creatures of the stars at a pivotal moment in time. SO yeah dear friends I want to win the lottery to start a women's credit union and network of art communities that provide havens for creatives, widows, and the abused. I want to  micro finance women's art and education and health and independence. "if won the lottery or if I ran for office"  My heart beats with only dreams but I humbly pray that humanity is holding something for me to be driven enough to claim. This month I have felt a slice of solace to winter in to my inner care and feeding of the soul. And though I know that this exercise in reflection and revelation and soap box is merely an echo I reach out to my secret secret and unfold a truth and a promise of purpose.

Excercising the ache of possibillity

Well so it seems that after an exhaustive slightly crippling lurch in humanity is hopeless, there is this tinker of arts and celebration it is not however in a dazzling bottle of champagne but in a large glass of white wine after a long day. So under the recent spell of a maddow fueled examination, can we start dreaming what is possible and just assume it is? I am tired of being beholden to eventually and it is a process- do we really believe we have the time to keep holding the hand of consumer chaos? What can I do today to demand better? WAR IS OVER if you want it to be. Said John and Yoko over 30 years ago. When do each of us get honest. I admit that it is easy to have a love in from the comfort of your 5th ave apartment but is there a middle ground that can be worked out Step one : Know what you want. Step two: define it plan, map and actualize it. step 3 : own it. Today I am going to call my senators and remind them we are in an unpopular war and when the country is looking for places to trim the fat that the DOD is an obese bitch. And this is the battle cry of me in my new apartment single 30something recovering from an accident not quite sure of the future but sure that there is one and that I better have a lot of fun and believe in whatever I am doing, so back to work aka back to passion.

"Onward March" the refreshed sentiments of an optimist.

And so it begins after a massive fever of combative ego political and personal in the should I stay or should I go varity, it comes down to "the show must go on." But there is a glimmer of strength that was not born of hope but breed in the disappointments and yet we returned as a nation to serve the needs of the common over the power and might of a handful of corporations and overlords. Yes this has sucked and yes it should've been better but it is what it needs to be and as an american and a human i have chosen to adjust the time table and ease my imagined sense of entitlement and simply work to do my best to be better. This week is the Starz Film Festival and there is a parade of films and people that I am mixed up with and somewhere Denver is a beacon for festival for festivals sake. I have no expectations about how the meetings or roads will wind for the tapestry of my fate, but I will make every effort to show up. And even Mittens with his Smug President elect web site still shows he really believed in actions. I guess that is the danger, to drink your own cool aid. I mark this journey with a little faith that here in my quiet little studio I will find my voice and my way to be all the things I thought I was and to allow those dreams to evolve with out regrets. They fall away the moments of if only and somehow I find myself loving every minute and unable to honestly wish to change anything. I guess that means the best truly yet to come.