Wowsers or more fully and completely, The wow of now. which may be the working title of the next show as I feel that I am not recovered from rehab but I am in fact now aware of my addictions only to learn that the context of hummanity in relations to "American" might know it. So I have been at the Tree and here we are removed from television and "culture" we talk about health and spirit and creating higher vibration and maybe some of us get there maybe I am getting there with my yoga and my daily trips up the messa trail and my tea and green juice and showing up for temple and services and being at the cafe and not watching TV and not wearing as much make up and doing more sweats not needing money and really only having the agenda of eating well and listening to my body. These are luxurious things that most people would not spend an hour on each day let alone let it fill up there days for 6months. However, the nature of being able to look at your deeper emotional stuff and looking at your ego, how interpersonal relationships flare or spark what is the proper way to give and recieve your gift of service and the contribution that you have to a collective to a leader or a visionary, leads you to ask yourslef what is your source code. if you can show up for the labarinth do you have the faith to trust that you will find exactly what you came to find what if it is exactly as magical as it could be. Here I am starting to feeling like I have a footing and now I find that it is time for me to move forward and prove to myself that not only am I able to learn new tricks but that I can use them when not in a state of solation because anyone can be perfect if you live sheltered but can you stuill find time to make smoothies and have the same emphasis on nutrition and physical endurance if you have friends and obligations of earning money and finding love and success. What if these things are no longer in conflict as they do not feel that way any more. what if your fear has melted away in a blissgasm of heat in the inipi or in the awkward exchange of finally admitting that being cool is not so helpful when you are cool alone with your pride than vulnerable and feeling cherished with friends or would be compaions.
SO this is a lot of process and I'm just going to start owning that I can not edit my head for right now because sensoring myself is not the act of practicing worthiness of actually being safe. whoa. OK so it begins the rest and best of the polishing up of crystal
